Continuing to learn this role called Mother

Happy Belated Mother’s Day to my many friends who are Mothers and to everyone who ever had a Mom.   I had a sweet Mother’s Day with 2 of my daughters enjoying a dinner created by my oldest daughter and enjoyed in her home.  I missed seeing my own mother and our middle daughter and grandson on Mother’s Day, but I am thankful for cards that were sent and received, voices that were heard over phones and hearts that were shared.  If I had my way, the ones I love – my family, would   live close by allowing us to enjoy times together often with ease.

Even though my daughters are grown and are out of our home – I am still learning my role as a Mother.   I am continuing to learn this role of mothering grown daughters and taking a lesser position in their lives.  My daughters have grown up into very capable, mature young women who have outgrown their need of a daily dose of Mom.  Lately I have been “complaining” to my husband that they actually believed us when we taught them that the Lord could take them anywhere and use them in His Kingdom work – my complaint is that they actually believed us and are living in just that manner.  There are passing moments when I wish they still needed me like they use to.

Our goal as parents was never to raise our daughters to be dependent upon us.  I am very proud of their many accomplishments in academics, marriages, careers, and most importantly in their response to God’s call in their lives.   But I must admit that I have been taken back a bit, that I still have to learn my role as a Mother to my grown daughters.  It has served to remind me that God always has me in a place of learning to trust Him with what is next – faith walking with Him throughout each day.

I have often said on this blog that Mothering is a bittersweet role – we raise our children to leave us.  And my children have left and as much as I am sad that my active mothering days are over, I have so very much to be  thankful for.

Recently I gave the closing MOPS devotions for this year and I reminded the Moms (and myself)  of these truths…

LIVE IN THE MOMENT…

• Give yourself and your kids time to just be … every moment of every day does not have to accomplish a goal
• Enjoy each stage

 YOU ARE SO LOVED BY YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER …

• Just as your kids cannot do anything to make you love them more, you cannot do anything to make God love you more
• Understanding this has helped me love others, especially my husband more.

 GIVE YOURSELF AND THOSE YOU LOVE GRACE…

• Your husband, your kids are just like you – human, full of themselves, struggling with life’s issues.  Be kind and gracious –

and finally – the words that I am known for in MOPS…

YOUR ARE THE PERFECT MOTHER FOR YOUR CHILDREN!

• As you teach them, they will be teaching you

So my dear daughters – thank you for continuing to teach me how  to mother you as grown young women (thank you for reminding me when I have blown it) and most importantly, thank you for making me a Mom.  It has been (and continues to be) one of the best experiences of my life.

The Women in my life…

Read Full Post »

A New Man in My Life

There is a new man in my life….

Joseph Isaiah was born yesterday, June 17th at 9:27 am

He weighed in at 8 lbs 7 oz and was 20 1/4 inches long.

Even though I was supposed to be at his birth – he decided he needed to come in a hurry and arrived after only a few hours of labor  (not enough time for me to get there for the birth).  But Bill (the Grandpa) and I hurried as fast as we could to drive the 6+ hours to meet our new grandson.  He was well worth the trip.

I am pleased to introduce Joey…

The very happy Grandpa and Grammie

God is so faithful and good — Praise His name forever!

Read Full Post »

Just as Mary Treasured These Things in Her Hearts

Please take a minute to read the sweet Mother’s Paycheck stories on my blog comments for the Mother’s Day Contest. Each one is such a treasure and a good reminder that it is not “stuff” that makes us happy. These comments remind me of how ….

“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

“But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.  Luke 2:51

There is still time for you to share your Mother’s  Paycheck and possibly receive one of the 5 gifts offered.  Share your Mother’s Paycheck by leaving a comment at https://sandrajo.wordpress.com/2010/05/07/a-mothers-day-contest-featuring-your-mothers-paychecks/.  Contest ends at midnight tonight.

Read Full Post »

A Mother’s Paycheck – Kim’s Story

This sweet and very familiar story of a mom receiving dandelions is from one of the Moms who attends the MOPS Group I mentor.  Kim is an amazing Mom who loves being pregnant!  She has 3 children, ages 5, 3 (?) and 1 and is one of those amazingly creative Moms.  You can keep up with her family at http://ferricks.blogspot.com/

Dandelions

by Kim

As a stay at home mom, I don’t get a financial paycheck. But as I learned from my MOPS mentor, being a mom I collect many special paychecks written straight to my heart.

This spring my kids have really been enjoying collecting dandelions. Each time I send them outside, they run all over our yard and the neighbor’s yard collecting handfuls of these weeds. Seeing the excitement and pride in my children’s eyes as they would hand me these bouquets I decided that I would take them inside and display them in vases. I love the look on their faces as they present me with the flowers- my paycheck.

Luke 2:51 “… But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.”

~~~

I remember receiving hundreds of dandelions as my “paychecks” over the years, dandelions still make me smile.  Thanks Kim. 

Have you received A Mother’s Paycheck recently or have a memory of a sweet mothering paycheck?  If so, get ready to share it for my upcoming A Mother’s Paycheck Mother’s Day Contest where you can win  DaySpring’s Blessings Unlimited gift?  Details available next week!

Read Full Post »

A Mother’s Paycheck – My Mother’s Hands

 

This week I have missed my youngest daughter more than usual.  I think it is because there have been so many snow days (days from school because of snow).  It would be fun to spend the day with Audrianna, snowed in so we could talk, watch TV and work on dinner together.  

Above my kitchen sink, I have a poem she wrote me and then framed titled My Mother’s Hands.  It was part of  a wonderful Christmas gift my daughters got me several years ago (you can read about that gift in a 2007 post titled Memorable Gifts or at A Mother’s Paycheck website). 

Since I am missing my youngest daughter and I need to be reminded of her love for me… it is time to share Audrianna’s gift of writing this heart touching poem with you.  Thank you Audrianna for this Mother’s Paycheck — I will treasure it always!

 

 

 

My Mother’s Hands

By Audrianna Joseph 

They are a picture of tenderness; 

A portrait of grace 

A captured moment of happy bliss, 

As dainty as lace 

~ 

Their feather softness will caress,  

They are strong 

Their tough enough to clean the mess 

They sing a silent song 

~ 

They are there when you are young or old 

Forever believing 

They create warmth from the cold 

Never deceiving 

~ 

They will softly wipe away all your tears 

You can’t live without 

They will destroy all of your fears 

They will never doubt 

~ 

You do not always get it or agree 

They are hope 

When you are blind, they let you see 

They let you cope 

~ 

They are love 

They will always understand 

They are love 

They are your mother’s hands 

Read Full Post »

A Mother’s Paycheck – Anita’s Story

I received this email from a wonderful MOPS Moms in December.  Anita is a Mom to 2 sweet daughters and is our MOPS Discussion Group Coordinator.  I am so glad to know Anita and am especially glad that she recognized her recent Mother’s Paycheck.

Spelling Appreciate…

by Anita

“I wanted to share with you my paycheck.  Every week, my daughter Gina brings home her spelling words sheet.  I make sure that it is put up and that we practice the words often.  About 2 months ago, the word ‘appreciate’ was on the list – it was the biggest and most intimating word for her up to that point.  We made up a song to go along with the letters and she got an A on this test!  I was about to throw this sheet in the recycle bin when her message – my paycheck – caught my eye.  I’m now not going to throw this one away :).”

 

What a great Mother’s Paycheck, thanks Anita.  I “appreciate” you sharing your paycheck with us. 

Have you received A Mother’s Paycheck recently …if so, please share your story.  Feel free to email me your story at sandrajoseph@windstream.net.

 

Read Full Post »

A Mother’s Paycheck – A Full Homey Home

 

This past week our family enjoyed  24+ hours together, eating, talking, talking some more, eating, playing games and more talking.  Audrianna came home from MBI for 3 days, Laryssa flew in after Thanksgiving (leaving Josiah at a new base) and Alycia came home with her new boyfriend (Hi Jason) after they worked on Friday.  It was a special time for our family of enjoying each other’s presence after weeks of being apart experiencing new life events.  

It was great to have Audrianna home – I just enjoyed her so much… knowing that she was asleep in her own bed and talking to her in person.  She is doing great at Moody Bible Institute and we benefitted from her Old Testament Survey knowledge when we played Bible Outburst (although the guys won).  It was great having her boyfriend, Nic here with the family – he is a ton of fun and always makes me (and everyone)  laugh.  I am so proud of her and can’t wait till she comes home for Christmas break in 2 &  1/2 weeks. 

It was also so wonderful to have Laryssa here, but I missed having her husband, Josiah, here.  Laryssa is doing well, is happily married and loves to talk about her husband. She is here until Christmas and I love having her here to enjoy each day.   

And it was just great to have Alycia and her new boyfriend Jason here – he did really very well being  thrown into the “Joseph Family” mix, he is easy to be around and quiet (but so was Josiah at this point) .  I give him a lot of credit for spending 2 days with our family, especially since this was the first time he had met “the sisters”  (and he is from a family of 3 boys). 

Having our homey home full of our daughters and their boyfriends was the perfect Mother’s Paycheck for this Mom who has been just a tiny bit lonely over the past 11 weeks.   I have much to be thankful for and I have invested this paycheck in my memory bank. 

  

“God sets the lonely in families…” Isaiah 68:6 

Getting everything ready at the last minute – notice the beautiful turkey sitting on the counter. 

 

Our family together again (Bill and the turkey grease had a disagreement and the grease won!)

We enjoyed getting to know Jason – he is a great guy.

Enjoying our College Freshman home for the first time.

My Mother’s Paycheck

Read Full Post »

A Mother’s Pay Check – A Story from Me

Even though our home may be empty, there are always special items in our home to remind me of my Mother’s Paychecks – how I was paid as a Mom.  This story is one that has come to my mind this week as I await the arrival of our daughters coming home for Thanksgiving.

When Laryssa was about 10 or 11, I caught her with a flashlight under her covers one night after she was suppose to be asleep.  Of course, that was against our family rules and when I found her, I immediately switched into “discipline mode” and demanded that Laryssa show me what she had under the covers.  I remember her cries of “no, Mommy, no — please don’t make me.”  She was adamant that she would not show me what she had under the covers (I assumed it was a book that she was not allowed to read).  I stood at the end of her bed and lectured her on the importance of obeying me and how if she didn’t obey me, she might not be obedient to God someday.  I really felt that I had done some great “mothering” when I walked out of her room – I was sure that Dr. Dobson would be proud of me and that Laryssa would experience the sadness of her disobedience.

Imagine how I felt several weeks later, when I received this amazing needle point as a gift from Laryssa.

This is what she was working on under her covers – this special little needle point that she designed, bought the supplies for and then created in under the covers in her bed at night.  Today, this masterpiece sits in my kitchen where I can see it and remember the recognizable moment of a daughter who still offered grace and love after her mother did not.

And that is A Mother’s Paycheck….

 

Read Full Post »

A Mother’s Paycheck – A Story from Genny

 

The first story in A Mother’s Paycheck Monthy Contest is from Genny who writes at www.mycup2yours.com , Hearts at Home Blog and 5 Minutes for Faith Blog.  Her story is definitely A Mother’s Paycheck for her job as the Mother of 2 children. 

Everyday Gifts

by Genny Heikka

“The other day, I was jotting down some notes in a notebook, when I turned the page and saw a little drawing from my daughter – a happy face with an “I love you” next to it. It was a cute surprise, and it made me smile.

It also made me pause and be grateful for the other little surprises – the little gifts – in my life. Sometimes, I go about my day and take for granted those gifts – a hug from my daughter, hearing my son laugh, spending time watching a movie with my husband, getting a card from a friend, or even finding a good parking space at the store.

Continue reading Genny’s Story here

Read Full Post »

The 2 questions everyone is asking

Lately, everywhere I go (and every email I receive) the same 2 questions have been asked of me over and over.

How are the wedding plans coming along?

How are you doing with so much going on in your life right now?

For those of you who might not be aware of what is going on in my life right now, here is the scoop.  In 5 days, our family will be taking our youngest daughter to Moody Bible Institute located in downtown Chicago.  I have experienced this journey of taking my daughters to college 2 times before and I know that it hurts my heart.  The difference this time is that after the wedding, there will no longer be a daughter living at home with us.  It is such a bittersweet mothering experience – because I am so proud, glad and excited for Audrianna as I know that this is where the Lord is leading her.  I know that she is ready for college and that she is going to love it.  Yet, my heart breaks because I love being a Mom and having my daughters with me.  But, I did not raise her to stay with me forever, so it is time to let her go. 

The wedding plans are coming along amazing well.   Laryssa is very organized and has things well under control.  There has been no mother-daughter fights (a few hurt feelings a time or two, but nothing major) and it has been a fun journey together. The guest list is growing and we only have a few people that we have not heard from, dresses are being fitted, and the rest of the details are in place.  I still have a few jobs to do, but I know that I will get them done.  I have a very mature daughter who is ready to be married.  But once again, that long time friend of mine, the bittersweet mothering emotion is occasionally rearing its head .  I love Josiah, the young man Laryssa is marrying.  I have prayed for him all of Laryssa’s life.  I know that she is ready to be married, that she is going to make a wonderful wife and that their home will be a home of faith.  Yet, on September 5, when she is no longer just our daughter – I know that I am going to be happy and sad.  Then on September 7, when they leave for their new home in California (and I am not sure when we will be together again) I know my heart will hurt again.

And in the midst of all of these 2 live events – my husband will be turning 50 on the day we move Audrianna into her dorm and we will celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary on Josiah & Laryssa’s wedding day. 

So the words written above does answer the first question of how the wedding plans are coming along.  Trust me when I say that it is going to be a special day/weekend for Josiah & Laryssa, our family and friends.

As far as how I am doing, I am ….

taking it one day at a time,

having an occasional cry session,

talking each day with 2 daughters heading in 2 different directions,

supporting and encouraging my wonderful husband who is working hard to make all this happen,

trying to spend time with the one who truly understands me – my Heavenly Father

and enjoying each day trying to recognize how special this time together really is.

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. …  Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders (and your college age daughter and almost married daughter – my translation) ; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:2,5-6

 

Read Full Post »