Twenty Five Years Ago

Several days ago my oldest daughter celebrated her birthday.  Twenty-five years ago I became the mother of a wonderful, beautiful daughter whom we named Alycia.  She has been a total joy all 25 years – easy to raise, delightful to be around, fun and overall she just made the mothering journey smooth.  She is a wonderful first-born, the perfect older sister and I am totally in love with this young woman. 

When my book, Scrapbooking Your Spiritual Journey, was published I wrote this about her…

“You are special because you made me a mother.  Everything was a first with you.  I will never forget how strongly I loved you even before you were born and how I still am amazed at the love I have for you. ..”

This year for her birthday there were many things I would have loved to get her as a gift, but as you can imagine – our funds are very tight with a wedding on the horizon.  So along with some small gift items, I gave her her childhood memories.  When Alycia was one, I started a journal for her (as most mothers do).  I completed 1 1/2 journals through the age of 13 for her and for some reason, it seemed right to give these journals to her this year.   Of course, my hope had been to complete her journals through age 18, but as I sat down to start that process I realized that from 13 on she would remember life events (plus we have lots of scrapbooks).  So I wrote a last entry about several of her life events (mission trip to Brazil at 14, High School graduation, leaving her at college, her summer at Focus on the Family Institute, and her hard work obtaining her Physician Assistant Master’s degree), then I put a ribbon around them and gave them to her. 

When she saw them, she said she couldn’t believe that I was parting with them.  Of course, I started to tear up because in those pages were the intense emotions I felt (and still feel) of being her mother.  That morning, I shared one sweet story her Daddy had written of when she was 2 and he was burning trash and Alycia told her Daddy about Moses and the burning bush.  That made us all laugh and lighten the moment.

This morning I received a text message from my 25-year-old professional Physician Assistant as she worked in the large city hospital that read … “Read through my entire journal last  night – they are amazing.  Thanks so much!”  As we talked later, she shared how she cried the entire time she was reading, how special it was when her Daddy wrote something, and she could not believe how much we loved her (and thought she was the most beautiful, smartest little girl ever).

And there is  it again, A Mother’s Paycheck  – a payment for writing down my emotions and memories of mothering a sweet, precious little girl.  And even though it was not complete or perfect (there were lots of writing mistakes – but I had forewarned her and she had told me that was the “beauty of journals”) – it was amazing to her.

Our kids don’t need all the “big-ticket” items for their birthdays – they need a Mom who will take the time to recognize, record and remember the amazing gift of their children.  It doesn’t have to be perfect scrapbook pages filled with artistic flair, or a beautifully written journal – it just needs to be the recognizable moments that their Moms take the time to record and remember.  Once again, may I encourage you to take the time to do this important task of mothering….someday your 25-year-old daughter (or son) will thank you for it and know that they were so very important and loved.

Happy Birthday Alycia – I love you!!