Several days ago my oldest daughter celebrated her birthday. Twenty-five years ago I became the mother of a wonderful, beautiful daughter whom we named Alycia. She has been a total joy all 25 years – easy to raise, delightful to be around, fun and overall she just made the mothering journey smooth. She is a wonderful first born, the perfect older sister and I am totally in love with this young woman.
When my book, Scrapbooking Your Spiritual Journey, was published I wrote this about her…
“You are special because you made me a mother. Everything was a first with you. I will never forget how strongly I loved you even before you were born and how I still am amazed at the love I have for you. ..”
This year for her birthday there were many things I would have loved to get her as a gift, but as you can imagine – our funds are very tight with a wedding on the horizon. So along with some small gift items, I gave her her childhood memories. When Alycia was one, I started a journal for her (as most mothers do). I completed 1 1/2 journals through the age of 13 for her and for some reason, it seemed right to give these journals to her this year. Of course, my hope had been to complete her journals through age 18, but as I sat down to start that process I realized that from 13 on she would remember life events (plus we have lots of scrapbooks). So I wrote a last entry about several of her life events (mission trip to Brazil at 14, High School graduation, leaving her at college, her summer at Focus on the Family Institute, and her hard work obtaining her Physician Assistant Master’s degree), then I put a ribbon around them and gave them to her.
When she saw them, she said she couldn’t believe that I was parting with them. Of course, I started to tear up because in those pages were the intense emotions I felt (and still feel) of being her mother. That morning, I shared one sweet story her Daddy had written of when she was 2 and he was burning trash and Alycia told her Daddy about Moses and the burning bush. That made us all laugh and lighten the moment.
This morning I received a text message from my 25 year old professional Physician Assistant as she worked in the large city hospital that read … “Read through my entire journal last night – they are amazing. Thanks so much!”
And there is it again, A Mother’s Paycheck – a payment for writing down my emotions and memories of mothering a sweet, precious little girl. And even though it was not complete or perfect (there were lots of writing mistakes – but I had forewarned her and she had told me that was the “beauty of journals”) – it was amazing to her.
Our kids don’t need all the “big ticket” items for their birthdays – they need a Mom who will take the time to recognize, record and remember the amazing gift of their children. It doesn’t have to be perfect scrapbook pages filled with artistic flair, or a beautifully written journal – it just needs to be the recognizable moments that their Moms take the time to record and remember. Once again, may I encourage you to take the time to do this important task of mothering….someday your 25 year old daughter (or son) will thank you for it and know that they were so very important and loved.
Happy Birthday Alycia – I love you!!
Posted in A Mother's Paycheck, Daughters, Family, MOPS Mentor, Memories, Mothering, Remember | Tagged Recognize & Record, Christian family, MOPS Mentor, Recognizable moments, Recognize & Remember, Family, Mothering, Daughters, Mothering Stories, Parenting, Record & Remember, mothering memories, A Mother's Paycheck, journals, A Mother's Journal | 2 Comments »
June 30, 2009 by sandrajo
Years ago, when our family was living in a double-wide trailer (a very nice one, I might add) – our oldest daughter, Alycia stuck Post-it® Notes on the back of Bill and I. Believe it or not, I still have those Post-it® notes today (okay, I know that it is easy to believe – just look at the name of this blog).
These Post-it® notes read (written in ink and pencil in the handwriting of a 9-10 year old):
“This is Daddy, he loves Mommy very much.”
“This is Mommy, she loves Daddy very much. She is very nice.”
Simple yellow Post-it® notes written with words that I have kept now for over 15 years now. Notice that my Post-it® has additional words 
— don’t you love that! But why have I kept these 2 pieces of paper for so long?
Because, the heart of my child (and all children) wanted to be assured that her parent’s love (the root of her family) was secure. That Dad and Mom really do love each other, are committed to each other and to making the family a safe, loving place. It is so simple – yet so completely hard as we deal with our own selfishness.
Soon, Alycia will be celebrating another birthday; she has already moved out of our home. In 2 short months, our middle daughter is getting married and our youngest is heading to college - our home will be empty of children. Bill and I will be empty nesters in our home. I am having a hard time getting my head around what is ahead. But I know that these simple words remain the same – Alycia, Laryssa and Audrianna’s Dad and Mom still love each other and their home is still secure.
I have no idea if Alycia remembers these old, non-sticky, slightly bent Post-it® Notes that she stuck on her Daddy and I years ago. But I know that the messages on these post-it notes are probably the most important messages ever written on these famous brand pieces of paper.
“This is Daddy, he loves Mommy very much”
“This is Mommy, she loves Daddy very much”
These words really explain, what it is coming down to – just a Daddy and a Mommy together, loving each other after years of raising children. These words promise security, purpose and the promise that no matter what else happens in life, our family is a safe, strong, secure place and a place where there is love between a man and a woman.
Once more, I will put these Post-it® Notes away and someday,one of my daughters will stumble across them and wonder why I kept them. But these Post-it® Notes are among my most prized possessions. Precious pieces of paper are my Mother’s Paycheck ~ continuing on as a dear memory recognized, recorded and remembered.
Posted in Family, Home, Marriage, Memories, Mothering, Remember, Uncategorized | Tagged Christian family, Dad & Mom's relationship, Memories, MOPS Mentor, Mothering, mothering memories, Mothering Stories, Parent's relationship, Parenting, Post-it ® Notes, Raising children, Recognizable moments, Recognize & Remember, Remembering, Treasured Memories | 3 Comments »
June 27, 2009 by sandrajo
In 8th grade, my youngest daughter asked to changed to a different school. Our oldest daughter started Kindergarden in 1989 at a private Christian K-12 school and we had been very happy at this school (both academically and spiritually). Our oldest and middle daughters spent their entire education there, so when Audrianna came and asked to change schools, it was not in my plans. I remember thinking that “We are a Christian School Family and this is what we are committed to”, also that I was on the downhill slide of her education and I did not want something unfamiliar. But, the Lord revealed to both her Dad and I that Audrianna was indeed being called to the new Performing Arts Charter School which was 30 minutes away from our home (did I mention that the Christian School was only 10 minutes away?).
Lincoln Park Performing Arts Charter School
As we arranged for her transfer to this school, I made the statement that she would have to ride the bus no matter how long it took. A long bus ride was the price she was going to have to pay for this new school and she did ride it (without compliants) for several years. This year, however the bus company did not want to pick her up at the old bus stop and changed the stop to 15 minutes away from our home. Although I tried, I never did come to a agreement with the bus company and so I drove Audrianna to school both ways all year (an hour in the morning and afternoon). Yes, I know what I had had said about not driving her to her school and yes, I had to swallow my pride and admit (once again) that I should “never say never.”
But I want you to know that God turned those miles and hours of traveling back and forth to Audrianna’s School into wonderful times of talking, laughing, praying and spending time with each other. This has been a busy senior year for Audrianna with school, work, and church activities and often our travel time was the only time we had together each day. We learned a lot about each other as we shared the activities of our days. There were many days of listening to Focus on the Family on the way home which sparked great discussions. We had lots of funny jokes about what we saw each day along the way (did I mention that we passed a nuclear power plant each way). Most of all, I learned to value these moments in the car each day with Audrianna. Next year, she will be 9 hours away in downtown Chicago (at Moody Bible Institute) – and our daily trips to Midland will not occur. Now I am so glad that God called me to be her “school bus driver” this year.
Welcome to Midland Sign – Audrianna actually planted this garden to help raise drug awareness (I named it the drug proof garden – I am sure that these plants have stopped many from taking drugs).
As I tried to work with the bus company, I told the coordinator that I was enjoying my travel time with Audrianna each day and his reply was that he wished he could go back and take his kids to school again. That was a recognizable moment for me and the moment that I fully accepted the job. I do not regret the time, miles or money I spent to take her to school – I am actually thankful I could do this important job.
Moms, I want to encourage you that your kids are not a frustration when they get in the way of your plans. They are such a blessing and sometimes your plans (and statements) will be changed because of them. I write and talk that my greatest life blessing has been to be a Mom, but my selfishness is still to do my own desires. I had no desire to drive 2 hours in the car every school day this year – but it became a wonderful blessing that I am now thankful for now.
Beaver Valley Nuclear Generating Plant
A month before Audrianna graduated, I started taking photos of the sites we saw each day as we drove to her school in Midland. (yes, I did look crazy stopping my car and taking photos of bridges, signs, nuclear plants and flower beds) On her graduation day, I gave her a little flip book with the photos along with a card encouraging her to be flexible to allow God to change her plans. My number one calling this past year has been to drive my daughter to Lincoln Park Performing Arts Charter School in Midland, PA each day. God only called me and I will be forever thankful that He did.
I love you Audrianna and will miss our trips to Midland next year. I am thankful for each and every ride to and from Midland this year with you!
The Beaver River & Bridge
Posted in MOPS Mentor, Mothering | Tagged bittersweet mothering, Blessings, Children off to college, Children off to school, Christian family, driving kids to school, High School Senior Mother, Memories, MOPS Mentor, Mothering, mothering memories, Recognize & Remember, thankful, Treasured Memories | 3 Comments »
June 27, 2009 by sandrajo
How I love learning how the Mothers in the Bible struggled through issues just like we do. Last week, I taught on Jochebed, Moses’ Mother for our MOPS Moms. And again, I was intrigued by how alike moms are throughout time. I was also touched by how sensitive the Moms were to Jochebed’s situtation of being forced to give up her baby. Several of the Moms were moved to tears over her life situation. There is just something about becoming a Mom that stirs ups tearful emotions.
I love the fact that the scriptures claim that Jochebed thought her child was fine (or no ordinary child); I smiled to myself that I also thought each of my babies was extraordinarily fine (and still do). Again, proving that no matter what the hospital photos look like, every Moms knows that their baby is special. Most of all, I am amazed at Jocebed’s faith – her trust in a God who was aware of her enslavement at that time. It would have been easy to assume that God was not who He had claimed to be ~ the God of the Israelites, God’s chosen people ~ and to be hopeless. But she had unbelievable faith in God for her child and God used her faith to eventually save her people.
Major Points from Jochebed’s life:
• She trusted God even when it seemed hopeless. As she created the basket, she had faith enough to actually put her son in the basket and then place him in the water. Hebrews11:23 declares that she did this act “by faith”. She did not know the outcome, but she trusted God with her son’s life (just as Abraham trusted God with Issac’s life ~ Genesis 22:1-19 and Hannah trusted God with Samuel’s life ~ 1 Samuel 1:21-2:11).
• God rewards her faith by allowing her to raise her son through his nursing years – how that must have brought peace to her spirit. She may have even been allowed to see Moses as he was growing up. How different it would have been, if she would have tried to manipulate the outcome. S he may not have been able to enjoy this gift.
• God uses her faith in the life of His people. Moses is the one God chose to use to bring His people out of Egypt. Hebrews 11:26 states that “Moses regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ of greater value than the treasures of Egypt.” God had mighty plans for Moses to lead His people. This plan was possible, because Jochebed was faithful and trusted God with her son’s life.
• What is your life issue that you need to place in a basket and put in the River – in other words, trust God with? Jochebed did not try to hold on to her son or control the events of life – she had great faith in her God to work out the details for good in her life and the life of her people. May we do the same.
If you are interested in the worksheet that I wrote on Jocabed– Click here: Jochebed
Other Biblical Mothers we have studied:
Bathsheba – http://sandrajo.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/bathsheba1.pdf
Salome – http://sandrajo.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/lessons-learned-from-another-mother-salome/
Rebekah – http://sandrajo.wordpress.com/2009/03/19/lessons-learned-from-rebekah/
Hannah – http://sandrajo.wordpress.com/2008/11/14/3-lessons-learned-from-hannah/
Sometime soon I will post the Mary Study!
Posted in Mothering, Trusting God, Uncategorized | Tagged A mother's faith in God, Bible Study on Jochebed, biblical mothers, Jochebed, MOPS Bible Study, MOPS Mentor, Mother of Moses, Mothering, Mothering Stories | 2 Comments »
June 22, 2009 by sandrajo
Oh, how sad. I have seen the clip over and over again, where Kate is sitting by herself saying, “This is not the way I thought life would be.” (or something very similar to that).
And everything in me says, Kate – none of us have the life we thought we would have! For each of us, there have been struggles and disappointments that have made it hard to catch our breath. I know that I have said this to the MOPS Moms over and over, “none of us are living the life we expected.” Once we realize this truth, it then becomes what do we do with the life we have been given to live.
I am really sad for this family. What they had planned as documentation of their family life, will now be the only memories the children will have of their parent’s marriage. It is interesting how Jon and Kate continually speak of their focus on their kids, when in reality it should be on their marriage. With the announcement of their divorce, it is now forever broken and it will remain that way – broken. Not the way God intended it to be – representing the relationship between Christ and the Church, self sacrificing love.
And yet, I know that it is only by God’s grace and our commitment that our marriage is not forever broken. It has not been easy, but God has been faithful and we have stayed committed even when it was hard. Our daughters have benefited because of our commitment and have thanked us over and over again for working through the tough issues.
Please pray for Jon and Kate and their family. Pray for your own marriage and family. Then remember what you promised in marriage vows and who you made the promise to. Stay committed and get help to work through the issues – it is worth it.
Posted in MOPS Mentor, Marriage | Tagged Committed to marriage, Husband & Wives, jon and kate divorce, Marriage, MOPS Mentor, Prayer for Marriage | 2 Comments »
June 18, 2009 by sandrajo
The reasons why I have been so busy lately…
Laryssa’s Bridal Shower given by her sisters
Bride & Groom Chocolate Covered Strawberries made by End with Chocolate
Celebrating my parent’s 55 wedding anniversary at Phipps Conservatory
Senior Reading
The Prom
Isn’t she lovely?
Singing in the Rain Outdoor Movie Graduation Party (and yes, it did rain and the party had to be moved to the next evening)
)
The large outdoor movie screen that Bill created – it was great
The Actual Graduation Ceremony
We are so proud of Audrianna!!
Graduation Picnic for Nic and Audrianna at our house – good food with fun people!
Obviously there were many recognizable moments – how thankful I am for my family.
Thanks for understanding why my blog has been a little quiet!
Posted in Family | Tagged Busy Times, Daughters, Family, High School Graduation, Mothering, Recognizable moments | 1 Comment »
June 14, 2009 by sandrajo
Today was the first day in weeks were our family was not celebrating a life event. And it has felt good to relax at home, sit on the porch and do nothing but enjoy my family.
I will catch everyone up on all that has been happening soon — but until then, please read this important post from 5 Minutes for Moms – 5 Minutes for Photography: Memories http://www.5minutesformom.com/6389/5-minutes-for-photography-memories/. This blogs communicates that….
“Today I’m not going to write about photo techniques, or tips, or gear, or anything like that. Because, in the long run, that’s not what’s most important about your photos. Photography is really about capturing memories of your family, so that you can look back and recall the special relationships, personalities, and activities that were unique to a particular time of your life. The photos I’m most disappointed by are the ones I never took the time to capture.”
Once again, you will read about how recording your recognizable moments are so important as you read this blog.
AND
I was published on Hearts at Home Blog this weekend writing about How your Marriage can survive Financial Hardship http://www.hearts-at-home.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1195:how-your-marriage-can-survive-financial-hardships&catid=165:mom-tips&Itemid=158. I know that many need to read about this topic again.
I am looking forward to re-connecting (with photos) with you in a few days…
Posted in Hearts at Home | Tagged 5 minutes for mom, 5 minutes for photography, Busy Times, financial struggles, Hearts at Home, Hearts at Home Blog, Recognizable moments, Recognize & Record, Recognize & Remember, Surviving financial hardships in marriage | Leave a Comment »
Last night was a recognizable moment for me, I signed my last school permission slip and the day before that I wrote my last school excuse. For 20 years, I have had note paper that has my name on it just for notes that read like this.
Date
Please excuse (insert child’s name) for (sickness, appointment, travel, or an occasional rest day at home) OR Please note that I will be picking up (child’s name) at (time) for (appointment, travel, or other various reasons) OR Please excuse (child’s name) for being late because of (appointment, sickness, travel or occasionally sleeping in).
Thank you,
Sandra Joseph
Now, I still have paper with my name on it, but I do not have more excuses to write. Maybe I will write myself an excuse that says…
June 4, 2009
Please excuse this Mother while she experiences both joy and sadness at the end of her daily raising children era. She may break into tears while laughing at the same time. There is so much going on in her life right now, that she is not sure if she is going to make it. If you have her in your site, please extend much grace (she truly needs it).
Thank you,
Sandra Joseph
Once again, I am experiencing that this mothering journey is bittersweet….
Posted in MOPS Mentor, Mothering | Tagged bittersweet mothering, High School Senior Mother, MOPS Mentor, Mothering, Mothering Stories, Raising children, Recognizable moments, School excuses, Treasured Memories | 2 Comments »
For Mother’s Day, I received a gift that I had been wanting – A kit to birth butterflies.
Butterflies have always fascinated me. Many years ago, our family visited Mackinac Island’s Butterfly House and ever since I have enjoyed seeing butterfly gardens and displays. Since Bill and I will be empty-nesters this fall, I have been telling my family that I am going to now raise butterflies. I was delighted to receive The Butterfly Garden from Laryssa and to watch the entire butterfly birthing process.
So I sent away for my larvae which arrived in a small container filled with larvae super food. There were 5 caterpillars in my container and it was amazing to see how big they grew in just a few days. I will admit that the caterpillars were a bit gross – especially the bigger they grew (I am glad they did not get lose). About 8 days later, the caterpillars started to hang upside down to form chrysalides so we then transferred them into the garden container. And then we waited and waited as the chrysalides grew darker and darker. This week, all 5 of our chrysalides were birthed into butterflies, 4 were born on Tuesday and 1 on Wednesday. I actually saw the last one come out of it’s chrysalis, they emerge very fast (if you blink, you will probably miss it). Within minutes, the butterflies wing spread out and they start flapping to dry off and in just a few hours they will try to fly. Again, just an incredible process.
It has been fun, watching the larvae change into caterpillars and then into beautiful butterflies. I think I might actually be good at raising butterflies (although it is not hard ).
When I told my MOPS Bible Study Moms about my butterflies, one of them said that I would have great examples of how the butterflies change like we do in our Christian life. Although I have thought about that, mostly my thoughts have been consumed with how amazing creative our Lord is. To take something so ugly (the larvae) and by doing just what God created them to do – the ugly turns into something beautiful. All the larvae had to do is to do what they were created to do – become a caterpillar, turn into a chrysalis, rest and then emerge as a beautiful butterfly. It is just amazing and fun to watch!
Here is where you can learn more about my Painted Lady Butterflies http://www.insectlore.com/xlorepedia_stuff/painted_lady.html and here is photo of what they look like:
In just week or so, I will release my butterflies outside. Right now, I am enjoying watching them eat (with their rolling proboscis) and seeing them fly around in their garden (I have it in the kitchen). It really had been fascinating and I plan on doing it again and again.
Thanks Laryssa for such a wonderful, fun gift! I highly recommend this for families of all ages!!
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged birthing butterflies, family fun, God's Creation, Insect Lore Butterfly Garden | 3 Comments »
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